freakymandy's Diaryland
Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Poem
This is a poetry i have written in the past months or so. I am so sorry for being away for so long. My new diary would be clavicle-.diaryland.com, but it isn't functioning yet, so i'm sorry. at the meantime, enjoy what i can offer for now, and it's something really personal..and very precious to me. ever so precious. -- I don't write the perfect song
To show how I'm feeling inside
I can't find the perfect words
To make others be mesmerized You. ESPECIALLY you.
Oh no. Sometimes when I looked at you
I just turned cold and froze
But all I wanted to do
Was to be with you and you be so close
To me
Enough for us to warm each other
During the cold and harsh winter With our hugs. Our love. Oh no. And then I lose you
Because I can't get close to you
I can't put my deep feelings into words
And come up to you
And say, "I think I'm falling in love with you
Do you feel the same way too?" Because I see the sparks
And I feel the ignition
But you don't think of me
As anything more than fiction I'm reachable
But you make me impossible
Because when I look at you
....everything makes me realise
How imperfect I am
And how perfect you seem to be I don't know if you would like me
If you know who I really am
Inside and out
But I'm out here
Open for all to see. The door is always open for you
Though only my mouth is tight shut
Have you look deep into my eyes
And deep into my soul
And look at all the imperfections
And ... miss the things I can be..
Because my lack is always there
It's in everyone else
But I don't hide them... And I'm afraid...
Would you still like me
The small, imperfect, flawed me?
Would you still take me into your arms
And hug and kiss me like you would
Like I am some special person
When I know I am In a totally different way,
I feel so rejected..
Each time I look at your perfect face
And knowing that I can't tell you how I feel
Even when I know you do like me..
In some strange ways... Is love truly blind?
Because I feel you looking deep, right through me. Fuck
Sometimes all I wanted to do
Was to run you
And shake you
And kiss you hard
And DAMN IT
WHY CAN'T YOU SEE IT? I hate you
For liking me
And showing me signals
And yet I lose you
And have no authority to hug you
Or kiss you
And rip you off from your clothes
And you ripping mine off me
And fuck me hard
Or something like that Sometimes I feel so abused
By the strong feeling I have from you
The neglect
Because if I really do what I feel like doing..
You're up to see the girl who you think is not being who she is It's true
Because I like you
Because I adore you
Because I am falling in love with you
I'm losing my mind
And I'm losing my sleep
And I'm losing my appetite ...and I'm definitely losing my sanity
Because I think you're worth it
And I'm losing my sanity
Because I don't know if I am good enough
For you Because you may think you're perfect
because you look like it
But I'm vulnerable inside..
And I'm so weak..
And I'm so tired of keeping in my feelings..
I'm so tired of people wanting me to be perfect
When I'm not
And though I like you so much.. I..I hate you
I hate me
Why can't we be together
And be what we are and don't fucking care about
what words to use or what past we have and
What i used to do
and what mistakes I've made. Because I know I'm flawed
And I know you are too..
But you seem so perfect..
when I look at you..
I don't know what words to use..
12:19 p.m. - 2005-06-06
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
previous - next
|