freakymandy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- make sure im still breathing I can't stand instability and growing up. I wanna stay a brat forever. I hate this, i hate this all. I hate making decisions about what Im gonna be in years to come. I have no more dreams. I have no more hopes. And I have no more fear of what to come. -- I know I'm smart enough but too stupid to make a judgement or a decision. I am just not matured enough to think of what I'm gonna do when I'm an adult. I don't wanna, because I have no childhood. I have no toys. I have no life. I have no fucking beautiful things to talk about and I am filthy. -- Don't I just love to critisize myself. -- I wanna be a sexologist. Or someone who's involved in social community. Or someone who works with the mentally retarded. Or someone who doesnt have to work and live off the husband. If he's rich, I'd not mind. I'd love to be redundant - a waste of space, and a big one too. I am a lardass. Not worthy. Filthy. -- I am not a lardass. I just said that to make myself feel better. -- Reverse psychology - activated. Now you can see, I am feeling so crazy. 11:58 p.m. - 2005-02-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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