freakymandy's Diaryland Diary

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poetry

If words were magical
I would make your doubts go away
If your life were so brittle
I would handle yours so gently it wouldn't break
If your heart were so cold
I wish I could burn it with painless fire
If copper could turn into gold
I would probably grant anything
materialistic things your heart desires
If problems were weighing you down
I would be there emotionally
Hoping you would be all safe and sound
If only I were an angel
All these wouldn't sound so illogical

#

Just a poem I wrote for someone I used to like. What now, it all seems pretty useless to keep, so I'd just post it here, and see if it means anything at all. Worthless. Why, I like to just go on and leave everything behind, but I can't.

Recently I purged. I did not know why, but I was shivering. Every single thing that touched me, I thought it was like a spirit or whatever, and it turned out to be my hair or just something I brushed into. It was really scary and I was all alone in my room trying to eat my dinner when I got that kinda paranoia. So I just stuffed evrything into my mouth and the next thing I wanted to do was to the toilet and purged it all out.

It was insane.

I'm so scared.... I keep thinking about what happened and it kept on haunting me like a ghost.

I'll be okay. I miss everything here.

9:23 p.m. - 2004-12-08

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