freakymandy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- getting away I plan to forget the past. That's my latest plan. Like any other plan, it won't actually work in a matter of days. My first plan to recover from my ED was December 2002, I think. And I finally am confident to say that I "recovered" in October 2004. It takes such a long time to see the fruits of my labour, but this time, I really gotta do what I gotta do. Rented movies again... quite fun to just spend time alone. I don't care if I am anti-social, I know I'm just trying to focus on my life a little bit more and work on my esteem and trying to forget the bad things I've done in the past. Going out with my friends sure can take my mind off them, but it's not.. natural. It's like trying to deny everything that happened by distraction. I wanna get in touch with myself and go through the things I have said or done towards some people who affect me more than anyone else. I feel okay... I just feel a little taken over. Sometimes I just feel like crying, so I do. Sometimes I feel like laughing, so I do. I'm allowing myself to do whatever I want. Um, one of my guy friends said to me, "Fuck the world, just do whatever you want. Be selfish!" He was so sweet, I hugged him. 11:07 p.m. - 2004-11-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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