I have been more active on DeviantArt.com. For those who are not aware of its existence, please have a look at the art site. It's really amazing, and it has the journal feature too, so it's like Diaryland + Art, which attracts my attention.
I have been there for 3 years now, and that is the place where I am when I was away from Diaryland for years. Some of the people I watched have already moved on with their lives and I wish I could have said at least a goodbye.
So what is new about me? I am a student in a Business School, and I'm working towards becoming a hotel manager one fine day. Anorexia? I'm sorry to say that it is still a part of me I am trying to shake off. My boyfriend, Mike, has been very supportive and helpful in every step of the way. He's one of the few people in real life that really does care about me and want me to be happy. You know what, HE is what's new about me. I would never dream of becoming so happy, so fulfilled right now.
Could you believe this; I haven't vomitted out my food for more than 3 months. I have been with him for close to 10 months, but that's not important. Important thing is, he is helping me feel better about myself. I no longer feel like the ugliest person alive. If things work out between us, I could shout at the top of my lungs, telling everyone in this world how much I cherish him and love him with all my heart and soul.
I sound like a fucking teenybopper now, but he's such a wonderful man, and I am so blessed to be with him. He always tells me that he's the lucky one, but the modest me wouldn't allow him to say so. He's 21 next year, and I am turning 18 in two months. We're probably away from each other by 2 years plus, but it doesn't matter. He thought I was older than him mentally the first time he met. I find that flattering.
I love it when he's feeling down, he will always talk to me about why he's feeling bad. We just share each other, inside and out, and we both feel like we know each other more than other people combined. I love it when I'm down, he will always listen to me. He just listens and he will always help me to reason out the things that cause my unhappiness. It's not because I'm a bad person or an ugly person. He says, it's because I have been brought up to think that I am a bad person and he wants to change that.
You know how that made me feel when he told me that? He made me feel human. He's not the richest person in the world, neither is he the macho type. But he has this warm, heart-grabbing smile about him, and he always finds ways to make me love him more every day and every night. I know his flaws - he can be quite annoying at times when he cares too much about other people, but it's only because he cares for them as well.
It's just so unfortunate when he told me that he always felt bad about himself because he wasn't very handsome or whatever. But my friends think he's cute and he has a very fatherly air about him that makes me feel so tingly inside.
You know what, secret readers? I think I might just stay with him for the rest of my life. Of all the men I have been with, Mike's simply the most caring and responsible of all. He makes me laugh too, and he only makes me cry just because I miss him so much all the time.
Wanna know something weird? Both our sets of parents know about our relationship and they are so happy for us! :)
1:36 a.m. - 2006-12-14
Recent entries:
kristian - 2008-09-04
For those who are concerned. - 2006-12-14
mindless self indulgent rant - 2006-03-12
i could feel my bones. - 2006-02-28
2006 woot. - 2006-02-24
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