I have never felt this so hopeless in my whole entire life. Just moments ago I was okay. I was fine. I was so freaking fine, I was smiling.
Now the smile is gone and I feel so beaten up.
I miss him (I don't want to write down his name, but it hurts so bad. No, you don't know who he is.), so damn much.
It freaking sucks, why does his email appear in mine with a title saying, "How are you?"
How am I??!
Idiot. Stupid. Fuck, don't ask me that stupid question after what you have done to me, you ass.
I feel so cheated. Let's go to MSN. I have unblocked you. Now you tell me what's happening to you.
You are happy and you have a new girlfriend.
Yes, please show off more.
I hate you. How can you be so cruel? Oh my God, I should never have met you in my life.
Bloody hell, I can't sleep. Why do I see your stupid face each time I try to close my eyes?
I miss our conversations. My heart is in major pain. It's beating so fast and it's beating so slow all at the same time.
My head feels like it's being squashed. I'm feeling dizzy.
God, damn you. What gives you so much power to make me feel this way? I know I loved you before, but seriously, if I still love you now, fuck it, I am going insane.
I want you to go away from me... but why can't it just go?
I can't believe my day is ruined because of you. I should never let you or anyone ruin my day, never. My tears aren't meant for you, but they fall anyway.
I need to stay away.
I have to block you once again.
4:16 a.m. - 2004-11-13
Recent entries:
kristian - 2008-09-04
For those who are concerned. - 2006-12-14
mindless self indulgent rant - 2006-03-12
i could feel my bones. - 2006-02-28
2006 woot. - 2006-02-24
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
gavin-joel
anorexicpoet
wolfstone
bender87
squishyvan
someday-
nateboxley
randomsnark
patient-
prettysprite
zigglett
brokenwords
hilaryjordan
morning-view
andlikedude
ladyofthefae
shaggybill
unclebob
oceans-depth
silverbiker
j-pizz
dani-lou
chicagojo
brian-writer
elixia
gingeryette
radiogurl
torato
beety-queen
sir-liver
bleedinbitch
karabats
jesbohn
wildcrazy13
rosytears
soft-parades
infinidox
braw
lightfallsup
therules
what-if-
mixtape-
aquietboy
girldivided
ablossomfell
chsturtle
that
tealeaves
science-girl
ditchwater
firewaterice
clarity25
soul-glimpse
endiary
p-o-y
idealistic
stillbeating
theghostgirl
almostalone
her-story
marn
lovemetwice
inaptbeauty
softplaces
love-metal
dark-doll
lovelybones
bloodstream
kex
alwaysinhim
jackthripper