I know this is going to sound very dreary, but I would like to thank all the people who take the time to send me notes through gbook and notes. People like Ablossomfell (Melia), Radiogurl, Ziglett, Bleedinbitch (Cat) and Lauren (PrettySprite).
Many say, "What are friends for?"
More often than not, not everyone knows what friends are really for. Many take friends for granted. I have learnt not to. For the first time in my life, I was betrayed and backstabbed by my own beat friends in recent years. I have always thought friends would always be there for me. However as I grow up, I learnt that good friends are really hard to find and I'm learning to appreciate every little things. I am very thankful and grateful to say the least, for all that I have presently. Though I am struggling with some esteem issues, I am thankful that I have a family (which isn't much of one, but whatever.), a place to live, and many friends.
Life can get lonely...and I have developed a fear to trust anyone so easily. I used to be so gullible and people took me for a joke. However, I'm glad that I don't really know a lot of people that hate me, and those who do, aren't my friends anyway. I know I am not the prettiest thing on earth, or the best in any way, full of imperfections as well as strengths, and I accept that I can't be liked by everyone.
-------
I had a nice day in school today. Chatted so much with Missy. We didn't really pay attention during Chemistry; we ended up talking about what names we liked or disliked and we made some jokes and laughed a lot. God, today was such a fun day.
What made me so happy today was the fact that I have recently fallen for an old friend of mine, Andy. I stumbled upon him whilst hanging out with Farrah and damn, he really grows up to become such a humorous and fun person. Good personality, cute looks, an okay height (at least 5'7"), what more can I ask for? What made me so excited was the fact that he reminded me to call him and never to forget that. I was totally surprised. Am falling for him too fast, but that really kept me awake the whole day in school despite having only 3 hours of sleep. Eating wise, I am getting better... I believe I can do better if I fall in love with guys every single day because having crushes and guys really perk me up. Never fails to.
I am getting more and more comfortable about accepting compliments and critisism from people. I used to get affected by them. I recently asked for reviews from review sites and I got low scores, for some reasons, but funny, I didn't really think much of them. I know I write sincerely, from the bottom of my heart and I mean everything I said. No regrets. Maybe those reviews are to test how strong I am in accepting comments.
I am worthy... I have to assure myself that. I keep on thinking negatively, for nothing. I have people smiling at me, I have their company, I feel their warmth.. I cannot ask for too much. If I don't get what I want at home, I can get it outside. Whatever it is, I have to think of ways to conquer bulimia and anorexia. I know I will succeed if I keep trying hard. It won't be an easy road, but it is not impossible.
Things will get better, as Radiogurl said. Thanks :) for your encouragement. Cat, thanks for being so supportive and fun to chat with in MSN. And all the other diarists that kept me going like Gavin, Danielle, and others, I love you.
-----------------
I'm getting crazy over Alex Band's voice from The Calling. He looks so boyish but his voice is so.. masculine and sexy. Things Will Go My Way is currently my fave song.. really inspires me.
Enough about me. How about you? ;)
8:53 p.m. - 2004-09-02
Recent entries:
kristian - 2008-09-04
For those who are concerned. - 2006-12-14
mindless self indulgent rant - 2006-03-12
i could feel my bones. - 2006-02-28
2006 woot. - 2006-02-24
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
gavin-joel
anorexicpoet
wolfstone
bender87
squishyvan
someday-
nateboxley
randomsnark
patient-
prettysprite
zigglett
brokenwords
hilaryjordan
morning-view
andlikedude
ladyofthefae
shaggybill
unclebob
oceans-depth
silverbiker
j-pizz
dani-lou
chicagojo
brian-writer
elixia
gingeryette
radiogurl
torato
beety-queen
sir-liver
bleedinbitch
karabats
jesbohn
wildcrazy13
rosytears
soft-parades
infinidox
braw
lightfallsup
therules
what-if-
mixtape-
aquietboy
girldivided
ablossomfell
chsturtle
that
tealeaves
science-girl
ditchwater
firewaterice
clarity25
soul-glimpse
endiary
p-o-y
idealistic
stillbeating
theghostgirl
almostalone
her-story
marn
lovemetwice
inaptbeauty
softplaces
love-metal
dark-doll
lovelybones
bloodstream
kex
alwaysinhim
jackthripper