freakymandy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- things should be okay I believe in something like this: What the eyes can see, the heart can't, and what the heart can see, the eyes can't. I've managed to keep off 8 lbs out of the 10lbs lost after going out of Atkins. Oh what the hell, I'm eating good starch now. I find that establishing better relationship with food is the only way that I can maintain weight loss. I did not even work so hard to lose that 8lbs in 3 weeks. I just walk more, and eat more. I don't starve at all. I'm kinda impressed with our body mechanism.. I did not believe that the body will hold on to every calorie it could, when it was starved, but I really do believe in that now. I think the quality of food is the most important factor. Maybe empty calories take lesser energy to burn and that's why its stored as fats? I don't know. Little accomplishments should be cherished and of course, I am cherishing them now and not to beat myself over little failures. I have been eating well and never feel hungry anymore, and been losing weight steadily without killing myself doing workouts. Things have never been so right and "okay". I love brown rice! Ate it three times in Al's house and it was awesome and very filling. Too bad my family won't eat it. Today I had quite a good sum of cal intake because I know I won't be able to get a good breakfast tomorrow and besides, tomorrow's one of those days which I have the time to go to the gym to work out properly. Sorry if this site is becoming a food blog. I just want you to know that this is a very personal one, and I always pretend that I am talking to myself when I'm writing, so it's all real and very raw. And of course, can sound pretty obsessive to you, but I don't care. Health is my top priority now because I BADLY want to get over my eating disorder, and if I am able to establish a good mindset about food, I'll be out of the ED cage before 2005, and that calls for a GREAT celebration! 6am Breakfast: 2 slices of white bread (meh. it's oke.) and 1 slice of pineapple (200 cals?) Total intake: 1250 kcals. Hey, that's not too bad! Ta-daaaa. Isn't it great? I feel so good :) I gotta thank Radiogurl for being so supportive! I love her so much for motivating me almost every day. I can never thank her enough... Kinda touched with her supportive and encouraging notes.. If I am able to overcome my bulimia and anorexia, I will be so grateful to a lot of people who make it possible, including her. I think my body's responding well to the food. As in, it does not feel bloated or stuffed and it feels comfortably filled up and I no longer feel like I have some "crashes" or something. I need to lose about 15-20 lbs more, and am planning to lose 1-2 lbs weekly. If calculated properly, I have to eat around 1,000 cals to 1,500 kcals every day and burn off 500 cals extra daily. So I'm trying to squeeze out an hour of gym daily, perhaps, and eat like how I am eating now. That should be fine. I would lose approximately 2 lbs of fats healthily in a week, which is okay, health-wise. Yup. Tomorrow I'm off to the gym after school. Regardless if that pervert is there or not - IGNORE HIM! He's just a pest, self. 11:20 p.m. - 2004-09-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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