freakymandy's Diaryland Diary

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miss her loads!

Diet-wise: A little cheating wont hurt too much... tomorrow i'll be more disciplined. Oh gosh, the weather's so good now.. I feel like sleeping a lot, and I did, a little. Then my bro woke me up to tell me that I could use the computer so I was like, why not?

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Today I had a good news... from my much-missed friend, Steefy from Hollands!!! Yeah, I have not talked about her for such a long time.. I missed her so much! She's this super tall girl whom I have always admired.. I mean, she's 6'2" I think! Wow.. *envious*. Of course we knew each other because we loved Red Hot Chili Peppers so much. I think that was how I got to know her. She knows a lot about my problems too..and I know a lot about hers and we do share secrets, which is cool.

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I think Farrah and I are growing apart..we just have no more things to talk about, and we no longer hug each other. I don't know why. There's nothing wrong between us.. no arguments or misunderstandings.. I think it's just because we're focussing more on our other friends, and realise that our lives are much fun with them, so we're kind of taking a break from each other. I'd be with Cin, Amellia and Al and Farrah would be with Dee and Nad.. which kind of breaks us apart - different class, different schedules... all kinds of hurdles. Of course her boyfriend is there to snatch every single free time block she has from me.

I told myself before that I would not get a boyfriend too soon (I did though, twice, but I told myself AFTER those two.) because I want to be a dedicated friend than a dedicated girlfriend, and I won't like it if my boyfriend demands too much from me and divert my attention to his face.. that will make me feel like I'm being controlled or something.

Oh well, it's just me. To think of it, committment is such a burden... no wonder lots of people cheat on their lovers. It's like having a best friend and sticking to her and before you know it, both of you are kind of bored hanging out with the same person and you just want your freedom to mingle back. I think that's what Farrah and I feel... though we never talk about that, we just can read each other's minds and that was what they said.

I miss apples. I love their fresh smell.. I have about 5 at home and I have to throw them away so that my mom would not suspect anything. I feel skinnier and I look skinnier..and I feel cold. That's one of the side effects, but it doesn't matter anyway. I am very jolly right now!!

Nothing makes happier than knowing that I am on the right track and... I have NOT purged for quite some time..maybe more than a month and my face looks a little sharper, which is such a good news! Yeah, I'm happy!

I miss Steefy like hell. I am soooo happy she remembered me!

6:52 p.m. - 2004-09-16

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